Boxing Gloves and Kangaroo Dreams
The Aboriginals believed that if you ever dream about getting attacked by a kangaroo then your reputation is in great peril. I thought about that before deciding to tell this story; but since I lost my reputation after making out with this girl named Porkchop in the eleventh grade, I think this one can be safely told.
Origins of Kangaroo Dreams
Awhile back, Rebecca and I were feeling rather adventurous so we decided to go to Saskatoon Restaurant for some wild and exotic game. Saskatoon is an amazing culinary emprise where any manner of fowl or beast is afforded an equal opportunity to make an appearance on your dinner plate.
(more…)Posted in Great Dining, Scattered Thoughts, Tall Tales and Big Fish Stories and tagged kangaroo dreams.
Wisdom of the Wombat
The wombat is perhaps the most misunderstood creature in all of existence. Contrary to popular belief, this oddity of nature is neither a womba nor is it a bat. The so-called experts define the critter as a quadruped marsupial; but I doubt any of these so-called experts have ever been abducted by a clan of them, and then forced into hard labor deep within the subterranean turnip fields of Tasmania.
Map of wombat controlled areas in 2015 (Classified: Top Secret; CIA)
Like the kangaroo, wombats have a pouch in which to carry their young. Unlike the kangaroo, these mammal’s pouches are located on their backs. This unique feature makes the creature an incredibly adept smuggler whom should be considered especially dangerous when boarding a plane alongside you. (more…)
Posted in Australia, Tall Tales and Big Fish Stories and tagged Australia, Tasmania, wombat.
How to Travel Europe on a Dime…or Less
People are always coming up to me and asking, “Hey Big John, how can I see Europe on the cheap?” and “What’s the best way to travel Europe on a dime?” and “Why are you so ruggedly handsome?” Okay, so nobody’s ever actually asked me any of that stuff; but if they did, I would have a thing or two say about it!
Big John knows about traveling cheap in Europe and really making that dollar stretch! But you don’t have to take my word for it. I was only voted the number one travel consultant in the entire industry by Frugal Travel Guru magazine (it’s one of those lesser known publications). Because you are all such loyal readers, I’ve compiled a never-before-seen list of my most cost-effective strategies to travel Europe on a dime. I would ordinarily charge thousands of dollars for this information but today I’m giving it to you absolutely free! (more…)
Posted in Europe, Tall Tales and Big Fish Stories, Travel Tips and tagged travel europe on a dime.
Hungry as a Hog inside Jamestown Colony
Yesterday we drove along the Colonial Parkway in Virginia. The fall foliage is so beautiful this time of year and the colorful drive really carried with it a certain spirit of the seasons. We had originally planned to visit all three points of interest: Yorktown, Jamestown Colony, and Colonial Williamsburg. After getting off to a late start, and then getting lost, we had to curtail our schedule a bit and ended up making it to two out of three places. This is my unfortunate tale of being hungry as a hog inside Jamestown colony.
Jamestown Colony, America’s First English Settlement in the New World
This was a return trip for me ; although it had been several years since my first visit. Upon our arrival, we first visited the reenacted settlement before going to see the original one. I must have been a lot hungrier this particular visit since the first time going there; because once I got inside the park all I could think about was food! When one of the park actors in colonial garb began talking about the amount of settlers that died of starvation the very first year in the colony; well I started to get even hungrier… you might even say that I was scared hungry!
As luck would have it, I came upon a deerskin hat lying on the ground outside the makeshift Indian village. I just knew that a Powhatan had lost it and now they were going to have to do some real bartering to get it back. (more…)
Posted in Adventurous Places, North America, Tall Tales and Big Fish Stories and tagged colonial jamestown, colonial parkway, jamestown, jamestown colony, jamestown colony virginia.