The Plight of the Leprechaun
The month of March is finally here and St. Patrick’s Day is fast approaching. This cultural and religious holiday commemorates the life of Saint Patrick who landed on Irish shores in 432 AD to bring Christianity to a pagan land. Along with this much anticipated holiday comes lots of drinking, foods, drinking, festivities, and even more drinking for the Irish and non-Irish alike.
In the midst of all that green-colored revelry, it’s easy to lose focus on those in Ireland who are truly suffering. I’m speaking of a people who’ve suffered under the blind eye of the international community for generations. Yes, I’m referring to the Leprechaun people of the Emerald Isle.
The Leprechaun have been woven into the fabric of Ireland since its very founding. They were there in the 6th century, rendering aid to the Celtic people by teaching them all the medicinal and magical properties of the shamrock. They were there in the 12th century, standing tall with their Irish brethren to ward of hordes of Norman Invaders.
It’s difficult to believe that now, in the 21st century, Ireland has turned a deaf ear to the plight of the Leprechaun people. Does anybody notice? Does anybody even really care? (more…)
Posted in Europe, Tall Tales and Big Fish Stories and tagged Ireland, leprechaun, St. Patrick's Day.
Snowboarding Carnage and Mayhem at Cataloochee Ski
First things first: While I pride myself at being a pretty good skier, I am possibly the world’s worst snowboarder to ever grace the slopes. I am not kidding. Last weekend, Rebecca and I decided to embark on a ninety minute drive to Cataloochee Ski Area in Maggie Valley, NC. For those of you not familiar with Maggie Valley, it is a charming little town in the Smoky Mountains between Asheville, NC and the Cherokee Indian Reservation.
Maggie Mountaineer Craft Store, near Cataloochee Ski resort in Maggie Valley, NC
To shed some light on the town’s more shadier past, there are a couple of infamous characters who at one time called Maggie Valley their home. The first was local boogeyman and mass murderer, Peter Lundin. The second was local hero and renown moonshiner, Marvin “Popcorn” Sutton. Both are gone now. The first is serving a life sentence in a Denmark prison and the second tragically took his own life to avoid being locked away. (more…)
Posted in Adventurous Places, North America, Tall Tales and Big Fish Stories and tagged cataloochee ski, North Carolina.
From Merry Old England with Love
CLASSIFIED:
Living the life of a secret agent and international man of mystery is rarely easy in merry old England. I was inside my Godmanchester home, enjoying a nice peaceful day of rest, when an urgent coded message arrived by carrier pigeon at my garden window.
Agent 008: The panther has been spotted sipping wine at the Old Bridge Hotel. Make contact with her, establish trust, find out what dastardly schemes she has up her sleeve, and detain her for further questioning before she can carry out her plot. Exercise extreme caution as she is considered armed and dangerous.
My home for a year in Godmanchester, Cambridgeshire, England
The Panther was an infamous jewel thief and highly trained assassin. She would not fall easily. I would have to outsmart her with my wit, charm, and ruggedly handsome good looks in order to prevent from compromising the mission. I splashed on my most irresistible secret agent aftershave, jumped into my ever-faithful Rover 45, and raced to the Old Bridge Hotel in record time.
(more…)Posted in Adventurous Places, Europe, Great Dining, Tall Tales and Big Fish Stories and tagged Godmanchester, London, merry old england, York.
Boxing Gloves and Kangaroo Dreams
The Aboriginals believed that if you ever dream about getting attacked by a kangaroo then your reputation is in great peril. I thought about that before deciding to tell this story; but since I lost my reputation after making out with this girl named Porkchop in the eleventh grade, I think this one can be safely told.
Origins of Kangaroo Dreams
Awhile back, Rebecca and I were feeling rather adventurous so we decided to go to Saskatoon Restaurant for some wild and exotic game. Saskatoon is an amazing culinary emprise where any manner of fowl or beast is afforded an equal opportunity to make an appearance on your dinner plate. (more…)
Posted in Great Dining, Scattered Thoughts, Tall Tales and Big Fish Stories and tagged kangaroo dreams.
Wisdom of the Wombat
The wombat is perhaps the most misunderstood creature in all of existence. Contrary to popular belief, this oddity of nature is neither a womba nor is it a bat. The so-called experts define the critter as a quadruped marsupial; but I doubt any of these so-called experts have ever been abducted by a clan of them, and then forced into hard labor deep within the subterranean turnip fields of Tasmania.
Map of wombat controlled areas in 2015 (Classified: Top Secret; CIA)
Like the kangaroo, wombats have a pouch in which to carry their young. Unlike the kangaroo, these mammal’s pouches are located on their backs. This unique feature makes the creature an incredibly adept smuggler whom should be considered especially dangerous when boarding a plane alongside you. (more…)
Posted in Australia, Tall Tales and Big Fish Stories and tagged Australia, Tasmania, wombat.